Aita For Telling My Estranged Sister (2024)

FAQs

What to say to an estranged sister? ›

Kramer suggests saying something like, It's been a long time and I've missed you. Can we talk? Be honest and open about your feelings, without being accusatory about who said or did what or what happened. Instead, focus primarily on what you'd like for your relationship in the future.

Remember what you can and can't control. You CAN request an apology, but you can't make your sister apologize. You can try to reconcile, but you can't force your sister to forgive or speak to you. Focus on what YOU can do to get to a peaceful place, whether that's reconciliation or accepting the status quo.

Childhood. When siblings face a substantial breach or distance in their relationship during their formative years, it is referred to as sibling estrangement in childhood. Numerous things, including personality differences, jealousy, rivalry, parental favouritism, or family strife, might contribute to this.

One German study last year suggested 28% of survey respondents experienced at least one period of sibling estrangement; 14% experienced multiple estrangements. “It's common,” says Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist and author of Siblings.

Whatever the reason for your estrangement, you should know that no-contact doesn't have to last forever. While trying to reconcile after estrangement isn't for everyone (for good reason), some people do mature, heal, and evolve, making it possible to start a new or different relationship together.

People frequently move between separation and reconciliation, making estrangement a fluid process. Early signs of estrangement may include: Decreased communication: With this estrangement, individuals speak to each other less often, and conversations become less personal and meaningful.

The emotional consequences of estrangement can be profound, including feelings of loneliness, sadness, confusion, and a profound sense of loss. Estranged family members can also experience a loss of identity and belonging, which can impact their self-esteem and overall mental health.

Reconciliation can be risky, so it's important to carefully evaluate whether to re-enter a relationship with a difficult sibling. There are no hard and fast rules on how to reconcile—or whether it's even necessary to discuss the roots of the cutoff.

Start with something non-confrontational, expressing your wish to reconnect and perhaps acknowledging the passage of time and missed experiences (Blake et al., 2022). Use Non-Accusatory Language: During conversations, focus on expressing your feelings and experiences without blaming.

You can mend a broken relationship over time, but the process must start with a real apology. If trust was breached, be honest and tell them why you did what you did, and what you were thinking at the time. You may need to do some soul-searching to determine your motives, so you can give them a genuine explanation.

What is sister syndrome? ›

A sister complex (Japanese: シスターコンプレックス) is a state of strong attachment and obsession to one's sister or sisters. In Japanese, it is commonly abbreviated as "siscon" (シスコン), in which case the term can also refer those brothers and sisters who feel a strong sense of affection or attachment to their sisters.

Distance can be healthy. People often think of siblings as ready-made friends, but that's not always the case. We tend to give siblings a pass on problematic behaviors because they're family. If your mental health is being affected by them, experts say it's OK to cut ties with siblings.

A history of emotional, physical or sexual abuse by a sibling can be traumatizing, especially if they haven't made amends or if the hurt sibling hasn't been able to forgive. Sibling rivalries — sometimes sparked by one feeling jealous of or threatened by the other's success — also can drive a wedge.

Reconciliation can be risky, so it's important to carefully evaluate whether to re-enter a relationship with a difficult sibling. There are no hard and fast rules on how to reconcile—or whether it's even necessary to discuss the roots of the cutoff.

Find a distraction.

Put on a pair of headphones to drown them out. This might help you disengaged. As discussed, the less your respond to your sibling the less likely they are to keep bothering you. Finding a distraction that helps you ignore the situation can help get your sibling to shut up.