By Danielle Jackola
Unapologetically authentic and candid, stand-up comedian Ashley Gutermuth isn’t afraid of tackling the big issues military families face, especially milspouses. She’s a force of change that stems from her empathy for the spouse experience, recognizing that she has a platform to spotlight the community’s needs.
With more than 1.1 million followers on various platforms, including Instagram, TikTok and X (@AshGutermuth), she has the reach to connect and inspire action. U.S. Veterans Magazine recognized Gutermuth as our 2024 Spouse of the Year. She was the 2023 Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of the Year, and in 2021, she won the ‘Seinfeld Challenge’ on The Tonight Show. Listen up because she’s got something to say:
“I don’t like drama, and I don’t like being sad, so I make some sort of funny, sarcastic thing or do something fun to lighten it up,” Gutermuth shared. “So, there’s all these little stressors that I see that I think really build up on people—they’re not easy to articulate. But it’s not an easy life. You have to be up for the adventure and just be willing to try things and keep a good outlook.”
Where it Began
Her parents, both helicopter mechanics, regularly took their daughter to work with them, often listening to British comedy in the car. Although Gutermuth’s husband, an Air Force Air Reserve technician, doesn’t show his face in her videos, you can often hear him interacting in the background. He provides his unwavering support, and perhaps when he retires, he will travel the world following his wife for her gigs. After all, that’s only fair. “My husband has been in the Air Force for a long time, and I am a stand-up comedian, so it’s kind of an interesting mix.
“I love being a military spouse,” she said, “but if you make it seem like it is all rosy, people know, they see through that. They know that you’re making it up—there’s obviously hard things.”
According to the U.S. Department of Defense, military families move about every two to four years. Roughly 30% of service members will experience a permanent change of station (PCS) this year. From the beginning of kindergarten through high school, military children change schools six to nine times on average.
Gutermuth added, “Just being able to juggle all the different things that you have to juggle and not even like the physical things, but the expectations, and the way that people internalize those expectations. I’m here to say be whoever you are, and it’ll be OK. If anything, it’ll be better.”
Beyond Funny
Embracing the reality that you’re not going to please everyone, Gutermuth shines in the freedom offered when you’re unleashed from the expectations of others. She does not shy away from the tough topics or calling out the utterly ridiculous. She addresses everything from the military’s fondness for acronyms, the pressures of being a military spouse, service members proposing in the blink-of-an-eye after meeting someone to the hilarity of it all. Her content is relatable, side-splittingly funny and leaves you thinking, ‘Did she seriously just say that?’
“I find within the military community we’re all so tightly wound that to have somebody come in and just break the rules a little bit, just tell you to park in the general’s spot once or twice helps,” she jests.
Try as she may, Gutermuth hasn’t gotten in trouble ‘yet’ as she chuckles, “I try. So far, unsuccessfully.” She jokes that spouses can park in the ADM/GEN (admiral/general) reserved parking spaces on base if you are an administrative assistant, use Excel or have email. As a regular keynote speaker, the generals in attendance line up to meet her and laugh in appreciation of her tiptoeing-on-the-edge humor.
“I do a lot of things—that sort of perception is—that you shouldn’t do,” Gutermuth said. “I’ve somehow managed to get away with it. I’ve always had that personality trait, though, and it’s something that I find very interesting. There are certain things that people can get away with that other people can’t. I don’t know what it is, and there’s some intense piece to it that people know I’m not trying to hurt anybody.”
After seven PCS moves in 10 years, living in Washington state, New Jersey, Delaware, Washington D.C., Georgia and currently stationed in Texas, Gutermuth laughed, “You know there’s a constant in every place that we’ve lived on base, all of them except for one. All base housing has a weird bathroom. There’s always one weird giant bathroom.” The other constant? Food insecurity.
Not Sitting on the Sidelines
Witnessing the need firsthand, Gutermuth doesn’t just shine a light on the issue of food insecurity and urge people to get involved; she donates her time and money to assist local military families. Using a Google form she created to respect confidentiality; families can share details about their family size and needs and opt for a no-contact transfer spot for the supplies, removing any embarrassment.
Gutermuth appreciates that no one wants to admit they’re struggling and hungry, especially in the military. She has an essence of goodness and raw relatability that shines through when you speak with her. She’s driven to serve her community.
An impetus for starting the food program was seeing somebody trying to pawn their wedding rings on the base’s Facebook page. Gutermuth reached out to them and learned they were seeking solutions because they needed money for food. The couple shared that when they had asked for assistance, the service member was admonished that his wife should just get a job. It turns out the wife was employed and working 10-hour days. The reason why they were experiencing hardship was because they had PCS’d and had to live in a hotel for months while waiting for base housing.
A Multi-Faceted Issue
Gutermuth recognizes that one of the key contributors to the financial struggles of military families—often leading to food insecurity—is that military families need to be dual-income to make ends meet. Still, spouses consistently struggle to find and maintain gainful employment. “An issue is that the stigma about being uprooted every few years exists, and it’s profoundly harmful.”
In addition to her donations to families in need, Gutermuth has partnered with other changemakers like Monica Bassett at the Stronghold Community Food Pantry, an all-military-spouse-run volunteer food pantry. Their efforts are constantly expanding, with multiple boots-on-the-ground locations giving away food and diapers daily.
On a recent trip to the White House, the two discussed how people usually only need about a one-month buffer. If you give them a month buffer, they can save a little money and no longer need assistance. Gutermuth added, “It’s not people spending money on Dodge Chargers and PlayStations. The main reasons why they end up food insecure are the high military spouse unemployment rate and then PCS homelessness. Whenever you move, you go $2,000-$5,000 in debt.”
A fervent supporter of the Work Opportunity Tax Credit, which would give companies tax incentives to hire military spouses, Gutermuth was shocked that although it had extreme bipartisan support, lawmakers didn’t put it in the bill. She shared, “I don’t have any patience, and if you’re telling me that these people can’t afford food, they can’t get jobs and you’re just gonna turn it into, ‘well, we just didn’t include it.’ [The credit] just wasn’t their priority, and it’s so easy to become jaded by it all, which is why I like to go around the system. You make yourself the bigger problem. You know, you’ve got to be the bigger fire, so they gotta put you out.
“You look at spouses, especially long term, you know every time you move, you lose or you might lose your job. Or you have to recertify, or there’s some other rock that you have to push up the mountain again and again and again.”
The burden isn’t fair, and there’s an underlying expectation that spouses just saddle up and be supportive.
The military is facing retention issues, and financial insecurity is a significant factor. The Department of Defense recently shared the recruiting and retention numbers for fiscal year 2023. While the Marine Corps and Space Force met their active-duty accession targets, the Army (68.15%), Navy (63.55%) and Air Force (83.31%) did not.
Solutions
“It seems so obvious; maybe it’s because we’re on the inside of it,” Gutermuth said. “Provide child care and figure out the food insecurity. You have retention issues. Come on, we can provide ways to support our families better and not make it such a constant struggle.”
Gutermuth urges everyone to get involved in driving change, including civilians. If you live near a base or post, inquire about ways to donate food and diapers. Shop through sites like spouse-ly.com that offer services and products from military spouses doing everything possible to earn extra money. If you’re a civilian, befriend milspouses. The frequent moves make it challenging to lay down roots in a community. Commit to making a difference within your hometown. Although her ‘hometown’ changes every few years, her vow to make a difference is steadfast.
An avid runner with an almost nine-year streak of daily runs, Gutermuth picks up litter along the road and shares video content of the volume she’s collected. It’s shockingly eye-opening and a reminder that small actions can have a considerable impact. The ripple effect of her actions on screen, behind the mic and wherever she’s stationed can be felt throughout the military community. Fortunately, she’s one of us, and she’s not going away quietly.
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